In our book, Charmed Divorce, we write a lot about friendships and the importance of support. Without a doubt, having friends hear you cry, to nod while you complain, and empathize while you rage is priceless. It's important to surround yourself with good friends.
You will find that, in the event of divorce, the most random friendships will appear. An aquaintance, once on the fringe, may become a pillar of support. An office mate may become a good friend because they are willing to lend an ear. Be open to the new people that appear in your life during this time of your life.
On the flipside, there may be some friendships that don't survive your divorce. I was advised by a good friend when I was recently divorced who said, "some of your friends or family will not treat you the same once you divorce." At the time she said this to me I didn't believe her. But she was right. It happened. Going through a dramatic change in your personal life will mean dramatic changes in your relationships with everyone around you. So, how do you keep the friendships from your marriage intact?
1. Provide Assurances
The first thing to do after announcing your divorce is to assure your friends that you intent to keep the friendship alive. Divorce is a traumatic for event for you, of course. But, it can be disturbing to friends who may have had no idea that it was going to happen. Assure them that, in spite of the change in your life, you would like to remain friends.
2. Be There For Your Friends
Yes, your friends will be there for you during your divorce. YOU need to be there for them, too. Although their problems may not be as big as yours at that time, they will still need you to listen to their troubles and to provide a shoulder to cry on when they go through difficulties. Be a good friend to your friends!