A woman once said to me ‘you must have a perfect life.’ The comment took me aback a bit because at that time I was newly separated, just moved into my new home, struggling financially, and stress was a constant part of my day in numerous ways. It was definitely far from perfect. My thoughts were “if she only knew…” However, I went out that night to celebrate my good friend graduating her master’s degree because this day was about her, and I wanted her to have a memorable day. I put on a dress that made me feel fabulous and some red lipstick to match and I did feel fabulous!
This mindset obviously paid off because this woman whom I never met I was chatting with at this celebration party perception of me as perfect. I thanked her for her kind words as my internal thoughts were “hardly…perfect is never a word that I would use for myself.”
However, it made me think with a different perspective. It made me take a step outside of myself and look from her point of view. There is no such thing as a perfect life and mine is far from it. I realized: I am happy, I am healthy, and I’m doing the best I can everyday for my children and myself. I’m in control of the direction of my life now, and no one can take that away from me. I am free and that is what she was seeing. I was happy.
I was happy even with all the craziness surrounding my life. I didn’t let these outside factors control me and my wellbeing. Going through a divorce is a long journey and keeping your mindset focused on the positive in your life will help. We talk a lot about this in our book Charmed Divorce. Ultimately, LIFE is a journey and there is no such thing as a perfect life -- everyone is struggling with something in their life at some capacity. But in the meantime, you can be the best you can and that is perfect enough!
Leah Scott is co-author of "Charmed Divorce". A Mother of two boys. She lives in Carlsbad, California and currently coaches individuals to help them live a more positive and healthier lifestyle through a step-by-step customized process.