I read an interesting quote the other day: “The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.”
I think of the squirrel, not as a real squirrel, zig-zagging across the road instinctively to avoid prey, but as a human being. A human being paralyzed in making a decision. It sees movement, headlights, progress. The squirrel obviously wants to get somewhere, desires something. The squirrel wants something on the other side of the road. But, unable to make a decision…
That motherf***r’s dead. Squashed by indecision.
How many times do we ruin our chances by indecision? Or, to be more brutally honest: by fear? My guess, it happens a lot. Especially with love.
I feel for the squirrel. After a relationship, divorce, or breakup, it’s hard as f**k to get yourself out there again. Like that poor little squirrel, the first time crossing the road you may have gotten squashed flat – not by indecision, but maybe by bad luck. So you try again. And, YAY! You made it to the other side of the road, only to find that who you wanted doesn’t want you (*SPLAT* goes your heart), or the person you loved wasn’t who you thought them to be (*SPLAT* goes your expectations), or it just didn’t work out (plain old effin’ *SPLAT* at that point).
So you try again. *SPLAT*. And again. *SPLAT*. And again. *SPLAT*.
It now turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy. The squirrel, after experiencing it’s poor little heart being flattened on the road of love, can’t bear to cross any more. It stops. Thinking.
“Should I go forward?”
“Do I take this risk?”
"Maybe I shouldn't have tried to cross?"
“What if? What if? What if?”
Must I say *SPLAT* again?
Before that poor squirrel knows it, love takes a back seat to fear. And fear, Dear Reader, is the death knell to love.
There is another quote I love: “Take risks. Love is worth it.” And I love to see people taking risks with their heart. I see people putting themselves out there after heartbreak, infidelity, rejection, and dashed expectations. They want. They try. They love. And there is nothing more admirable than that. Bravery in the face of fear, they will put their heart out there and risk being vulnerable. They will put their heart into another’s hands.
Why? Why would they risk having their heart squashed? Why would they risk rejection? Why would they risk having someone see them for who they really are, faults and all?
Because love, and being loved, is a risk worth taking.
So, cross that road. Look ahead and don't look back. Get to the other side. Open your heart. Give yourself to another. Do what you can for love. Because, on the road of life, love is what matters.
Robin Sassi is co-author of "Charmed Divorce". She lives in San Diego, California and currently coaches individuals to help them live a more positive life through a step-by-step customized process.